Do you make superfluous luxury goods or purely useless crap? Well, here’s the ideal way to reach a captive audience of consumers so bored or annoyed that they’ll consider any pitch just to feel the numbed bliss of shopping.
5. Mount Rushmore Garden Statue
Sure gas is expensive, but your backyard is still the worse vacation spot ever.
4. Pet’s Observation Porthole
Do you want to taunt Fido with a glimpse of freedom or pretend he’s a spaceship captain?
3. Big Foot The Garden Yeti Sculpture
Ever since the gnome sold out to Travelocity, this guy is the only authentic fantasy statue left in the lawn game.
2. Animated Trailer Hitch Critter
Because the humor of a “redneck on board” sign is too sophisticated.
1. X5: Hair Laser
Maybe I’d think it was a good idea to rub a handheld laser on my head, but not one that bears a striking resemblance to the Axe Detailer Shower Tool.